The classics
Jokes your dad
definitely already told you.
20 of the most recognisable dad jokes ever committed to groan. How many have you heard? Be honest.
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
#1Because they make up everything.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
#2It's impossible to put down.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
#3She looked surprised.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
#4He was outstanding in his field.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
#5Nacho cheese.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
#6I don't know y.
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
#7They don't have the guts.
What did the ocean say to the shore?
#8Nothing, it just waved.
I'm on a seafood diet.
#9I see food and I eat it.
What do you call a fake noodle?
#10An impasta.
How do you organise a space party?
#11You planet.
I don't trust stairs.
#12They're always up to something.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
#13Because it was two-tired.
Whoever invented the knock knock joke...
#14Should get a no-bell prize.
Parallel lines have so much in common.
#15It's a shame they'll never meet.
I used to hate facial hair.
#16But then it grew on me.
What's brown and sticky?
#17A stick.
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
#18They'd crack each other up.
I'm terrified of elevators.
#19I'm taking steps to avoid them.
Did you hear the rumour about butter?
#20Well, I'm not going to spread it.
200 more where those came from.
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