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NATURE AND GARDEN JOKES

Nature and garden jokes.
Let the groans grow.

Dad jokes about trees, flowers, gardens and the great outdoors. Best enjoyed with muddy shoes.

29nature and garden jokes·0apologies

  1. Why did the coffee taste like mud?

    #1

    It was ground only a minute ago.

  2. I spent an hour putting together a cat tree.

    #2

    She spent an hour in the box. We both built something we liked.

  3. My dog has a favourite stick.

    #3

    Unfortunately, it's still attached to the neighbour's tree.

  4. Where do fish keep their money?

    #4

    In the river bank.

  5. Two cows are standing in a field.

    #5

    One says moo. The other says, I was just about to say that.

  6. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

    #6

    He was outstanding in his field.

  7. What's green and has wheels?

    #7

    Grass. I lied about the wheels.

  8. Which flowers grow on your face?

    #8

    Two lips.

  9. What do you call a man in a pile of leaves?

    #9

    Russell.

  10. The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.

    #10

    But everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.

  11. I bought a pirate ship with free delivery.

    #11

    They left it with the neighbours. Their pond's ruined.

  12. What did the dog say to the tree?

    #12

    Bark.

  13. I've decided to take up beekeeping.

    #13

    Apparently there's a real buzz about it.

  14. What type of tree fits in your hand?

    #14

    A palm tree.

  15. Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?

    #15

    Too many ears around.

  16. I don't trust those trees.

    #16

    They seem kind of shady.

  17. Where do young trees go to learn?

    #17

    Elementree school.

  18. Spring is here!

    #18

    I got so excited I wet my plants.

  19. What did the big flower say to the little flower?

    #19

    Hi, bud!

  20. What did the alien say to the landscaper?

    #20

    Take me to your weeder.

  21. What did Elvis say to his gardener?

    #21

    Thank you for the mulch!

  22. How do you get a squirrel to like you?

    #22

    Act like a nut.

  23. Why did the skeleton climb a tree?

    #23

    A dog was after his bones.

  24. How many apples grow on an apple tree?

    #24

    All of them.

  25. What did the beach say when the tide came in?

    #25

    Long time no sea.

  26. What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?

    #26

    What a re-leaf.

  27. What did one leaf say to the other?

    #27

    I'm falling for you.

  28. What did one volcano say to the other?

    #28

    I lava you.

  29. Who do you call to clean the ocean?

    #29

    Mermaids.

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