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WEATHER JOKES AND PUNS

Weather jokes and puns.
A chance of groans.

Clean dad jokes about rain, sunshine, fog, snow and the weather we cannot stop talking about.

31weather jokes and puns·0apologies

  1. Why does Swiss cheese make a bad umbrella?

    #1

    The holes are a significant design flaw.

  2. What do you call a dog on the beach in mid-summer?

    #2

    A hot dog.

  3. What do you call a dog that's been out in the snow?

    #3

    A chilli dog.

  4. Why do birds fly south for the winter?

    #4

    Because it's simply too far to walk.

  5. A policeman caught a penguin stealing fish and shouted, “Freeze!”

    #5

    The penguin said, “What do you think I've been doing all day?”

  6. What do you call a bear in the rain?

    #6

    A drizzly bear.

  7. Why did the penguin leave the party early?

    #7

    It heard they were about to break the ice.

  8. Which travels faster: heat or cold?

    #8

    Heat. You can catch a cold.

  9. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

    #9

    Frostbite.

  10. I tried to catch some fog.

    #10

    I mist.

  11. What do you call an old snowman?

    #11

    Water.

  12. Why are English history books so damp?

    #12

    They're full of reigns.

  13. What do pirates do when they're cold?

    #13

    Stand in the corner. It's 90 degrees.

  14. Which athlete is warmest in winter?

    #14

    A long jumper.

  15. What do you get if you cross a witch with an iceberg?

    #15

    A cold spell.

  16. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

    #16

    An abdominal snowman.

  17. Why do skeletons hate winter?

    #17

    Because the cold goes right through them.

  18. Where do snowmen keep their money?

    #18

    In a snow bank.

  19. Spring is here!

    #19

    I got so excited I wet my plants.

  20. Where do rainbows go when they've been bad?

    #20

    To prism. It gives them time to reflect.

  21. What do clouds wear?

    #21

    Thunderwear.

  22. What's a tornado's favourite game?

    #22

    Twister!

  23. What's 90 degrees but covered with ice?

    #23

    The North and South Poles.

  24. What does Mrs Claus say when she looks out of the window?

    #24

    "Looks like rain, dear."

  25. What happened when the snowwoman fell out with the snowman?

    #25

    She gave him the cold shoulder.

  26. Justice is a dish best served cold.

    #26

    Served warm, it would just be water.

  27. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?

    #27

    A meltdown.

  28. How does a hurricane see?

    #28

    With one eye.

  29. Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs?

    #29

    Yes, hailing taxis.

  30. Why do hamburgers go south for the winter?

    #30

    So they don't freeze their buns.

  31. How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?

    #31

    He could feel it in his bones.

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