Stache is winking

The wordplay wing

Wordplay dad jokes
for the linguistically dangerous.

Dad jokes built on wordplay and double meanings. The kind that make you groan first and grin second. Tap to open any one and share it.

60wordplay jokes·0apologies

How do you organise a space party?

#1

You planet.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

#2

They say he made a mint.

I'm on a seafood diet.

#3

I see food and I eat it.

How does a penguin build its house?

#4

Igloos it together.

I don't trust stairs.

#5

They're always up to something.

Why did the bicycle fall over?

#6

Because it was two-tired.

Why did the stadium get hot after the game?

#7

All the fans left.

I tell dad jokes but I have no kids.

#8

I'm a faux pa.

Why did the nurse need a red pen?

#9

In case she needed to draw blood.

Why do skeletons hate winter?

#10

Because the cold goes right through them.

I asked the librarian if they had books about paranoia.

#11

She whispered: 'They're right behind you.'

Why did the maths teacher open a bakery?

#12

Because she kneaded the dough.

What do you get when you cross a computer and a lifeguard?

#13

A screensaver.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

#14

A thesaurus.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

#15

It got mugged.

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

#16

A satisfactory.

What do you call a sleeping bull?

#17

A bulldozer.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

#18

He just needed a little space.

I asked my dog what two minus two is.

#19

He said nothing.

Why did the calendar go to therapy?

#20

It had too many dates.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

#21

It's fine — he woke up.

I used to hate maths, but then I realised

#22

decimals have a point.

Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

#23

Because light attracts bugs.

How do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke?

#24

When it becomes apparent.

What do you call a woman who sets fire to her bills?

#25

Bernadette.

What do you call a man who knows where all the fish are?

#26

Rod.

How do trees access the internet?

#27

They log in.

What do you call a haunted chicken?

#28

A poultry-geist.

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

#29

A maybe.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

#30

Between us, something smells.

Why couldn't the sailor learn the alphabet?

#31

He kept getting lost at C.

I'm writing a novel about clocks.

#32

It's about time.

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

#33

Great food, no atmosphere.

What happened when the tongue-twister champion was arrested?

#34

They gave him a tough sentence.

I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt.

#35

Then it clicked.

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?

#36

Because it ran out of juice.

What do you call a man in a pile of leaves?

#37

Russell.

What do you call a train that sneezes?

#38

Achoo-choo.

I once got hit in the head with a can of cola.

#39

Lucky it was a soft drink.

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

#40

A labracadabrador.

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.

#41

It was tense.

A book just fell on my head.

#42

I've only got my shelf to blame.

I used to be addicted to the hokey cokey.

#43

But I turned myself around.

Two aerials met on a roof and got married.

#44

The ceremony was rubbish, but the reception was brilliant.

My friend keeps telling me it could be worse, I could be stuck at the bottom of a well.

#45

I know he means well.

Time flies like an arrow.

#46

Fruit flies like a banana.

She said I'm only average at darts.

#47

That's just a mean thing to say.

I have a real fear of speed bumps.

#48

But I'm slowly getting over it.

I've written a song about a tortilla.

#49

Well, really it's more of a wrap.

I used to run a dating service for chickens.

#50

But I struggled to make hens meet.

I told my doctor I'd broken my arm in two places.

#51

He told me to stop going to those places.

I'm reading a horror novel in Braille.

#52

Something bad is about to happen, I can just feel it.

There was an advert: radio for sale, one pound, volume stuck on full.

#53

I thought, can't turn that down.

My grandad has the heart of a lion.

#54

And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

I told my wife she should really embrace her mistakes.

#55

So she gave me a hug.

I used to hate maths.

#56

Until I realised decimals have a point.

The man who invented autocorrect has passed away.

#57

Restaurant in peace.

I got a job as a human cannonball.

#58

I'm hoping to work my way up to being fired.

I once had a job crushing cans.

#59

It was soda pressing.

My wife told me to stop singing Wonderwall.

#60

I said maybe.

Want them one at a time?

The app serves fresh material one joke at a time. Tap to reveal, react, stash the keepers, and share the ones that land - or don't.

Open the app →Browse all collections