The best dad jokes of 2026, ranked by groans

What makes a dad joke the best? Round here, a groan is a strong application.

This page brings together two app leaderboards, a 25-joke hall of fame chosen by us, and short sets for families, work and the group chat. The leaderboards use recorded Props and Groan totals from Dad Humor. The hall of fame is our editorial countdown. Different judging panels. Equally questionable material.

How the ranking works

A groan is a five-star review round here. If you want to argue with the order, the appeal process is simple: go and press the button.

Dad jokes with the most recorded groans

This is the list that matters. A groan is the highest honour a dad joke can receive. It means the pun landed, the listener understood it fully, and they hated that they understood it.

Dad jokes with the most recorded props

Props are for the jokes that are somehow, against every law of comedy, actually good. There are fewer of these. That's correct.

The 2026 hall of fame: 25 dad jokes that never lose

Our editorial countdown, assembled after a long afternoon. These are old favourites we still want to tell in 2026. Their positions below are our choices, separate from the app reaction tables above.

25. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

24. I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's a bit cheesy.

23. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two.

22. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

21. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One's very heavy, the other's a little lighter.

20. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.

19.

18. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of trousers? In case he got a hole in one.

17. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

16.

15. Parallel lines have so much in common. Shame they'll never meet.

14.

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

12.

11.

10. I used to hate facial hair. Then it grew on me.

9.

8. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.

7.

6.

5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

4.

3.

2.

1. "Dad, I'm hungry." "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad."

Our number one was never in doubt. Someone announces they are hungry, and Dad hears an introduction. No equipment required. Dinner may take slightly longer.

Dad jokes for modern family life

The hall of fame covers the classics. This set covers air fryers, AI, self-checkouts and the ongoing disagreement between dads and their smart speakers. Familiar modern life, with absolutely no improvement in the jokes.

• Asked the AI to write me a dad joke. It said it needed more context. I said "I'm a dad." It said "that explains it."
• My air fryer and I have a lot in common. We both get very hot about nothing.
• The self-checkout asked if I wanted a receipt. I said no. It printed one anyway. Respect.
• Bought an electric car. Range anxiety? No. Range enthusiasm. I bring it up constantly.
• Cancelled all the streaming subscriptions to save money. Now we watch the router light as a family.
• My smart speaker keeps ignoring me. Nice to see someone in this house being consistent.
• My phone said my screen time was up 12% this week. It's grounded.
• Tried to become an influencer. My only follower was the dog, and he left after the walk.
• Told the family we were going off-grid. Turned the Wi-Fi off for an hour. The complaints arrived in person.
• The kids asked what a landline was. I said it's a phone you can't lose. They didn't believe me.
• Asked the video doorbell who was there. It said "motion detected". Very helpful.
• Got a standing desk. My ideas are the same, but they're taller now.
• The fitness tracker says I've done 300 steps today. All of them to the fridge.

Short dad jokes for 2026: one-liners

Screenshot-length. For the group chat, the WhatsApp family thread, and the bit of the meeting before anyone important joins.

• I bought the world's worst thesaurus. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
• I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.
• I gave away all my dead batteries today. Free of charge.
• I named my horse Mayo. Mayo neighs.
• My to-do list has asked for a shorter working week.

Best dad jokes of 2026 for kids

Quick questions for younger listeners. Choose a familiar word, leave a pause and see who gets there first.

• Why did the maths book look sad? It had too many problems.
• What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore.
• How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well.

Best dad jokes of 2026 for work

Safe for the all-hands and the Slack channel you're not supposed to post in.

• Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
• My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
• I asked the IT guy if he could fix my computer. He said "have you tried turning it off and going home?"
• Someone stole my Microsoft Office. I said they'll pay. You have my Word.
• I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed the loo.

Why dad jokes still win in 2026

The phrase has some history. Merriam-Webster records its first known use in 1987, and announced its addition to the dictionary in September 2019. Dad was presumably available for comment.

Our view is simpler: a short setup and an obvious pun give the whole room a chance to arrive at the answer. The teller commits. Somebody groans. Someone else quietly saves it for work. That is a perfectly respectable evening's entertainment.

Frequently asked questions

What is the best dad joke of 2026? The top entry in the Groan table has the most recorded groans in our app. That is not a national or year-specific verdict. Our editorial favourite is "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad".

Are dad jokes actually funny? Yes, in the way a sneeze is satisfying. The comedy is in the gap between how seriously the teller takes it and how stupid the joke is. That gap is where Dad Humor lives.

How many dad jokes are there? Nobody has a complete count. Our app serves jokes one at a time, and these collections give you plenty to start with. Dad will still insist he knows one you haven't heard.

Is this list updated? The reaction tables refresh periodically from the app. The hall of fame and themed sections are editorial selections, last reviewed on 13 October 2026.

Cast your vote

The two app leaderboards respond to recorded reactions. The hall of fame is our pick. Want a say in the live totals? Go and press a button. Open the app, rate a joke, and add your reaction to the totals. For more Dad Humor and updates, that's here. Minimal commitment. Maximum groans.